


And I Said To Him, "I'm Yours."

by whatwasthatharry



Series: Said [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: BDSM, Blangst, Bondage, Bottom Blaine, Collars, Comfort/Angst, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatwasthatharry/pseuds/whatwasthatharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People would expect things to be perfect for Sebastian and Blaine now that Blaine has finally been able to reach subspace with Sebastian, but insecurities can rear their ugly heads when least expected, sending everything else around them into a tailspin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Said To Him, "I'm Yours."

**Author's Note:**

> The long awaited sequel to my story And He Said To Me, “You Are Safe Here”. This one is dedicated to Amy (sophisticatedloserchick on tumblr), who has been waiting patiently for this sequel and cheered me on in my ask box. :) 
> 
> (It’s not necessary to have read the previous story, but I do strongly encourage it.)

_Trust is such a little thing and never given a second thought. In the world of Dominance and submission, trust is the foundation upon which everything else is built._

_One of the most important things to stress in taking another to subspace is safety._

_Subspace is an altered state of awareness_

_During a scene, the sub concentrates on absorbing each touch of their Master’s hand and the feelings of total submission and **trust.**_

* * *

Blaine woke up slowly the next morning, mind creeping into awareness as the bright sunlight pierced through his eyelids. Yawning a little, Blaine blinked his eyes open, squinting against the harsh light and burying his head against something warm. But it wasn’t soft like a pillow, no; there was a gentle hardness there and slight grooves. Taking a deep breath, Blaine smiled as he realized what, or rather who, he’d hidden his face against.

_Sebastian._

Blaine hummed softly, nuzzling against the tanned skin underneath him, placing soft kisses over Sebastian’s abs. He could feel Sebastian’s stomach moving up and down rapidly, growing worried before the soft sounds of laughter reached his ears. Nuzzling Sebastian one more time, Blaine opened his eyes fully and looked up, staring into bright green eyes.

“Good morning, Blaine,” Sebastian smiled, and Blaine couldn’t help but blush. Everything about this man reached deep inside of Blaine and made him feel warm.

“Mm, morning,” Blaine mumbled as he yawned, watching as Sebastian smirked.

Sebastian carded his fingers through Blaine’s curls and he pushed up into the touch, practically purring as Sebastian started to massage his scalp.

“Looks like I have a little kitty cat with me this morning,”

Blaine blushed, hiding his face in Sebastian’s chest.

“It feels really nice, Sir.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped around each other; each of them content to just be. Sebastian gently wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist, pulling the sub up so his head was resting against the pillow. Blaine gave into the touch freely, smiling as he let his Dom take control; even something as small as moving him on the bed gave Blaine a thrill of pleasure.

“Hi,” Blaine breathed as he turned his head to look at Sebastian, smiling a little.

Sebastian gave him a soft smile back, rolling onto his side to face Blaine as he cupped his cheek. “Hi, baby.”

Blaine reacted automatically and leaned heavily against Sebastian’s hand, the warm touch soothing him and taking any worry away. Although after last night, Blaine didn’t know what there was to worry about anymore.

“We should talk.”

With those three simple words, Blaine felt the worry that had been drained from him quickly flood back, filling each of his veins as a sense of coldness swept over his body.

“T-talk?” he stuttered, biting his lip hard but he was careful not to draw any blood. Sebastian didn’t like that. And Blaine couldn’t be bad, not now and not ever. But especially not now. Sebastian wanted to talk. Nothing good ever came from that.

Sebastian smiled softly, the twitch of his lips slightly reassuring, but it did nothing to assuage Blaine’s fear and worry. He knew he was overreacting, it was something he always did, but everything with Sebastian was still so heightened; Blaine’s feelings of vulnerability and need and trust were still swarming strongly through him after the events of the night before.

“Hey, hey. Blaine, baby, stop worrying.”

Blaine looked up as Sebastian’s words pierced through his thoughts and he met warm eyes. They weren’t angry or disappointed; that was good. Blaine liked it when Sebastian’s eyes were warm.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

As his fingers were suddenly laced together with another set, Blaine let out a soft sigh of relief, clutching onto the hand hard. Sebastian somehow knew that he needed that anchor for the moment, so Blaine held on tight, still lost and unsure after his breakdown the night before when he slipped into subspace.

“You okay now?” Sebastian asked, and Blaine heard the worry in his voice.

“Sorry, I…I’m okay.”

“Don’t apologize, beautiful. I should’ve been clearer. There’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?”

Blaine nodded.

“This isn’t ‘talk’ as in  _talk._ I just want to see where your head is at after last night; those were some big things that happened for you, baby.”

“Oh,” Blaine breathed out slowly, the worry seeping out of him and his tense muscles deflated. He should’ve known better; Sebastian always wanted to ‘check-in’ with him – as Blaine called it – anytime something big happened in their relationship; after their first scene, after his first punishment, after he’d gotten the cuff – it always happened and Blaine felt stupid for not realizing it before he freaked out.

“How are you feeling, Blaine?” Sebastian asked, grabbing the sub’s attention again.

Blaine answered immediately. “Fine.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and Blaine didn’t even need him to tell him the rule.  _(Don’t hide your feelings from me. When I ask how you’re feeling, I expect to hear more than just ‘fine’ or ‘good’)_

“I feel…drained,” Blaine admitted and Sebastian looked at him curiously, waiting for him to clarify.

Needing to anchor himself more, Blaine moved forward into Sebastian’s arms, wrapping his body around his Dom’s as he rested his head against Sebastian’s warm chest, listening to his heart beat for a few moments as he thought about the best way to explain everything to Sebastian. Sebastian always reminded him how important communication was and even though Blaine didn’t want to say anything else - simply wanting to instead stay curled around Sebastian and let him hold him – he knew that he had to for Sebastian, for his Dom.

“I’ve never slipped into subspace before,” Blaine whispered, hiding his face in the crook of Sebastian’s neck because it made it easier to talk, to tell Sebastian everything that was going on inside his mind. “I don’t…I don’t really know what to say. I’m just…I feel so vulnerable still, which is why I probably I freaked out earlier. I don’t know what to do now. I broke down in front of you and I…I can’t understand why.” Blaine glanced up at Sebastian, searching for answers.

“You were overwhelmed,” Sebastian whispered, kissing Blaine’s forehead. “Falling into subspace, it takes a deep level of trust and vulnerability. You had to fully let yourself go and just give yourself to me, knowing and trusting that I’d take care of you, which I did. And I think you weren’t expecting that. You’ve been hurt so much before; you didn’t know how to just let go, so when you did, it was scary and overwhelming.”

Blaine practically climbed up Sebastian’s body, wrapping his arms and legs around Sebastian tight, sighing when he felt Sebastian’s hands on his back to hold him close. “Sir…” Blaine whispered, his voice barely audible as he nuzzled Sebastian’s neck as a few tears fell out. “How come you can say what I’m feeling when I don’t know what to say?”

There was a soft feeling of movement against his cheek and Blaine realized Sebastian was smiling softly.

“Because I know you, B. It’s my job as your Dom to understand your feelings and what you need.”

Blaine breathed in slowly and nodded.

“You trust me, beautiful?”

“Of course, Sir,” Blaine said quickly, pulling his head up to look at Sebastian’s eyes, needing him to see how serious he was. Sebastian was  _everything_ to him.

“Then trust me when I say this. Subspace is going to feel overwhelming and vulnerable at times, and I understand why. But always know that it’s okay to slip into that headspace. It doesn’t have to be after a strong scene like last night, but it’s okay for you to fall and let go.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Things stayed calm for the next few weeks. Blaine moved in with Sebastian and found that he needed to constantly be near Sebastian when they were both in the apartment, even if it was something as simple as their feet being tangled together as they both worked on their assignments for school.

They still went out with friends, went to classes, studied. They played a few times during the weeks and Blaine only needed a punishment once. Things were okay. Graduation was approaching slowly for both of them, but luckily they’d each done their senior thesis in the first semester so neither of them were as stressed as they could’ve been.

But underneath everything, Blaine felt closer to Sebastian than he ever had. He loved his Dom so much and he knew he could trust him to take care of him. But Sebastian…they hadn’t said they loved each other since the night Blaine first slipped into subspace. And Blaine was scared; even after their talk, he was still scared.

What if Sebastian just said it in the heat of the moment to assure him after his breakdown?

* * *

“Baby brother! This is a pleasant surprise.”

Blaine smiled at the sound of Cooper’s voice as it crackled through the phone, relaxing further into his cocoon of blankets and pillows that he’d formed around him on the bed. Sebastian had left for his morning class, leaving Blaine in the bed with a cup of coffee and a lingering kiss.

“Hey, Coop,” Blaine murmured, stretching his legs out a little as he pulled the comforter up around his body further. “Sorry I haven’t called in a while.”

“It’s fine, B. Life gets busy, I understand. I could’ve called too.”

Humming softly, Blaine nodded to himself and sighed. “Doesn’t matter. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Cooper asked, and Blaine could hear the peak of curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah. I kind of…I need some brotherly advice.”

“About what?”

Blaine sighed and played with the threads of the comforter, tugging at them slowly as he bit his lip. Cooper didn’t know about Sebastian. Well, he knew Sebastian was his boyfriend but he didn’t know about the dominant and submissive part of their relationship, didn’t know how deep their bond ran. Blaine wasn’t ashamed of it, he really wasn’t, but it was hard to admit. Nick and Jeff had found out on accident and they’re the ones who introduced him to Melanie and Hunter, who in turn introduced him to Sebastian. He’d never really  _told_ anyone before; not even his first boyfriend. Matt had just wanted to experiment and nervously asked to tie Blaine up one night, which had lead to them further exploring and Blaine’s full realization that he was a sub. He didn’t  _have_ to tell Cooper to talk to him about what was bothering him, but he didn’t want to hide anything about his relationship with Sebastian from the people he cared about most.

“Me and Sebastian,” Blaine whispered.

Cooper inhaled deeply over the phone and Blaine heard him moving around, the scrape of a chair audible over the phone, signaling that Cooper had just sat down.  “Everything okay between you two?”

Blaine smiled at the concern he heard in Cooper’s voice. There was a time when that wasn’t there, when the two of them were so far apart Blaine was confused as to how they’d ever get back to being like brothers and it made Blaine feel warm and happy to know he really did have his brother again.

“We’re okay,” Blaine reassured softly. “I wanted to…tell you something about us, actually.”

“Don’t tell me your pregnant.”

Blaine laughed loudly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Stop being ridiculous,” he teased.

Blaine could practically feel Cooper’s smile through the phone.

“Fine, fine. What is it then?”

“Have you ever…I…uhm. What do you know about…BDSM?”

Everything was silent for a moment and Blaine clutched the phone tight, listening to the soft sounds of Cooper’s breathing through the phone, needing to make sure Cooper hadn’t left.

It took a few moments before Cooper answered, making Blaine feel anxious as he chewed on his nails.

“Like…bondage and stuff?” Cooper finally asked.

“I…uhm, no. Well, yes. But not just that,” Blaine stuttered, closing his eyes for a brief moment to gain his footing. “D-dominance and…and submission…that kind of stuff.”

“I’ve heard of it and I know generally about it. Can’t say I’ve ever tried it though.”

“Sebastian and I have. Tried it. We still do. I’m a sub,” Blaine said quickly, letting the words fall out in one big rush and just hoping that Cooper understood everything.

“So, Sebastian’s your… Dom?” Cooper asked after a minute.

Blaine breathed out slowly. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Alright.”

It took a few seconds for Blaine to process what Cooper said, having expected him to be confused or disgusted or something, but never to be so accepting so quickly.

“A-alright?” he choked out.

Cooper sighed softly. “Yeah, Blainers. If that’s who you are and the way you and Sebastian work together, then who am I to say anything against that?”

Soft tears beaded at the corner of Blaine’s eyes as he sniffled. “R-really?”

“Really, Blaine,” Cooper said and Blaine heard the way his voice had grown softer, taking on an almost soothing tone. “I know our family hasn’t always been the best and I haven’t been there at times when you’ve needed me, but I love you and I don’t have a problem with you being who you are. And if that means you’re a sub and Sebastian is you Dom, then so be it. I don’t fully know what happens there and what it all means, but I get the general idea.”

“Thank you,” Blaine breathed, clutching a soft pillow against his chest as he breathed out slowly, some of the tension that he’d felt earlier seeping away.

“There’s something else,” Cooper murmured, a slight question in his tone.

“You know me too well,” Blaine breathed, wiping at the few tears that had slipped down his cheeks. “I’m scared.”

“Scared? Why?”

“Don’t sound so worried,” Blaine chuckled, the sound a little broken from the tightness in his voice since he started crying. “I’m really happy with Sebastian. But I…I love him.”

Cooper simply hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for Blaine to continue.

“And I told him and he said it back. But I don’t…I don’t know that he really does love me.”

“You just said he told you he loved you though,” Cooper murmured and Blaine could imagine the way his eyebrows would’ve crinkled in confusion.

“I know,” Blaine sighed. Curling up on his side, Blaine buried his face against Sebastian’s pillow, taking in the scent of him to help calm him down again. Even when Sebastian was away from him, just having something that was his and that smelled like him helped to soothe Blaine’s nerves.

Cooper was quiet for a moment and Blaine knew he was waiting for Blaine to elaborate, but it never came.

“So…?” Cooper led, waiting for Blaine to tell him what he was thinking.

“What if he just said it in the heat of the moment? It…it was weeks ago and he hasn’t said it again.”

“I think you’re worrying too much, Blaine.”

Blaine shook his head and bit his lip. He didn’t know how to tell Cooper about the context Sebastian had said it in, but he tried to explain it the best way he could.

“I was…I was in a really vulnerable state, Coop. And I just blurted it out. He could’ve just been…saying it so I didn’t breakdown again.”

“You need to talk to him.”

Blaine shook his head. “I can’t…”

“You have to, Blainey. I can only tell you it’s okay and that he loves you, but you and I both know you’re not going to believe a word I say unless it comes from Sebastian.”

Blaine didn’t want to admit it to himself, wanting Cooper to just tell him he was being ridiculous and everything was okay, but deep down he knew that Cooper was right. He wouldn’t believe anything unless it came straight from Sebastian.

“I love you,” Blaine whispered.

“I love you too, baby brother. Talk to Sebastian.”

* * *

Blaine spent the day running over Cooper’s words, barely paying attention in the two classes he had. Luckily other people had presentations in his classes that day, so none of the professors took notice of Blaine’s distraction.

He should talk to Sebastian; he knew he should. But he couldn’t.

What if his fears came true and Sebastian didn’t actually love him?

* * *

Blaine got home before Sebastian, something that wasn’t normal for a Tuesday afternoon but Sebastian had warned him that morning when he left him curled up in bed that he had a meeting with his study group that would cause him to be late. But Blaine needed Sebastian close that night and was anxious for him to come home; he needed the reassurance that he was Sebastian’s after everything that had been running through his mind all day. By the time Sebastian walked through the door, Blaine was kneeling on the bed in only a pair of boxers.

“Blaine?” he heard Sebastian call out as he walked through the door. He didn’t answer, instead choosing to tilt his head down and clasp his hands together as he waited for Sebastian to come find him. He listened to his footsteps as they moved throughout the house, clearly searching for him. As the door creaked open, Blaine smiled a little to himself, already feeling lighter now that he knew Sebastian was home and would help him forget and let go.

“There you ar..oh,” Sebastian breathed, stopping in the doorway as he took in Blaine’s position. The door fell shut behind him and Blaine sighed at the sound, trusting that Sebastian would know what to do, know what he needed.

The bed dipped and Blaine felt the heat from Sebastian’s body as he knelt behind him. Hands came to rest on his shoulders, kneading at the skin slowly and Blaine sighed, head falling forward so his chin hit his chest, the knots in his muscles slowly fading into nothingness.

“Master…” Blaine breathed, already completely lost to his mind and the feeling of Sebastian’s hands on him. Blaine was so lost in his need to be close to Sebastian and to let go that he couldn’t focus on anything but the soft pressure of Sebastian’s fingertips against his skin, leaving a trail of fire in his wake as he moved.

“What do you need, pet?”

Blaine shivered at Sebastian’s name for him. It was still new for them to use Master and pet; they were still learning each other and slowly delving deeper into the realms of submission and dominance. Blaine falling into subspace had been the first step. There was something comforting about using Master instead of Sir during moments like this for Blaine. Master was so much…deeper to him. It meant that he was giving  _everything_ to Sebastian, which was exactly what he was doing.

“Please,” was all Blaine could say, body shaking slightly as goose bumps rose over every inch of him. “Need you,  _please Master.”_

“Oh, pet. So needy for me,” Sebastian breathed against Blaine’s ear, breathing hotly against the sensitive skin. Blaine’s eyes fluttered and he wavered where he was kneeling, cock growing hard in his boxers just from the raspy sound of Sebastian’s voice.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and Blaine let Sebastian pull him back so he was lying on his back, legs opening easily so Sebastian could settle himself between them.

“Can we… no restraints tonight?” Blaine asked softly, looking up at Sebastian with wide, hazel eyes, practically pleading with him. He just needed Sebastian; he needed his Master with nothing else to distract him from the feel of him or what he was doing.

Sebastian nodded softly and kissed Blaine, licking across his bottom lip as he pulled away. “Good boy,” he whispered and Blaine felt warmth surge through his body. “Telling me what you need like that. So proud of you, pet.”

Blaine moaned and arched up against Sebastian, clutching his shirt tightly to try to get him closer.

“Master, please…” Blaine breathed, needing him as close as possible.

“I’ll take care of you,” Sebastian promised, slowly kissing down Blaine’s body, mouthing at his cock through his boxers before he slowly slid them down Blaine’s legs and off.

Blaine whined as Sebastian climbed off the bed, the sound quickly dying as he realized Sebastian was undressing. He stared at him, cock growing harder at each inch of skin that was slowly revealed, leaving him a panting mess by the time Sebastian finally crawled back onto the bed.

It was like they were on the same wavelength completely and their thoughts had mingled together; Blaine didn’t need to ask Sebastian or tell him anything, Sebastian just knew. As he grabbed the bottle of lube, Blaine could see that Sebastian wasn’t going to do anything crazy tonight except for be close to him, which is what Blaine craved for all day. He loved their playtime when Sebastian tied him up and fucked him, but Blaine couldn’t handle that today. All he needed was for his Master to move in him and stay close, to completely cover him and tell him it was okay.

Sebastian prepared Blaine slowly, taking his time to let Blaine feel every press of his fingers as they stretched him open, curling his fingers against Blaine’s prostate slowly until Blaine was a sobbing mess, moaning out “Master” and “Please” and “Need you so bad” with every breath.

“Oh, pet. You sound so amazing. So open and ready for me. You’ve been craving this all day, haven’t you?”

Blaine could only whine at Sebastian’s words as they danced over his skin, lighting up every nerve ending and he pushed back against Sebastian’s fingers.

“Master…” Blaine whined, ”been waiting all day for you. I’ve been good, I promise. Please, Master.”

“Shh,” Sebastian breathed, slipping his tongue into Blaine’s mouth as he kissed him, slowly massaging Blaine’s tongue with his own as he pulled a loud groan out of his sub’s body.

Sebastian pulled his fingers out and it felt like forever until Blaine felt the press of his Master’s cock against his entrance. Blaine clenched around him as he pushed in, his nails scratching over Sebastian’s shoulders as waves of pleasure began to crawl over his skin to tingle his nerve endings.

Blaine blinked his eyes open, the hazel completely glassy as he gave himself over to his submission, looking over at Sebastian slowly.

“Let go,” Sebastian breathed, angling his hips to press against that little nub inside of Blaine, trailing a few fingers down Blaine’s cheeks.

Blaine barely felt the touch, his Master’s words completely washing over him as he let go. He needed that reassurance from Sebastian that it was okay for him to no longer be present in his mind and once Sebastian told him it was okay, Blaine let himself float. The need for his Master hadn’t just been physical but he’d needed this closeness mentally to be okay. Blaine didn’t care if he came that night or not, too lost inside himself and the feeling of his Master to even be aware of the moans filling the room or the warmth that was suddenly filling him.

Floating over all of it, Blaine relaxed for the first time all day. His Master was here and taking care of him, nothing else mattered at the moment. Any fear that he had that Sebastian didn’t love him was lost for the moment, and Blaine’s eyes closed. There were hands on his chest, moving his body so he was curled up against someone, his Master, but Blaine barely recognized it for a few minutes, lost in the soft touches and the knowledge that his Master had him.

It took a long time, but Blaine slowly started to come back to himself over half an hour later. His cock was no longer hard but there was still a warm feeling inside of him and he knew that Sebastian had marked him inside, the knowledge of that helping him to come back to himself and curl into Sebastian’s chest. His Master had him and he was safe. It was okay again.

But as Blaine fully came back into his mind, he felt overwhelmed and drained again, unable to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. He clutched at Sebastian’s chest and curled into him tight, trying to hide inside Sebastian’s skin.

“Master…” he choked out.

Sebastian’s arms tightened around him and he felt a soft kiss being pressed onto his forehead. “I’m here, beautiful. You were so good, Blaine. My good boy.”

The words only made Blaine cry harder. He’d been so lost in his mind, so free from everything, and he wished he never came back down from that blissful state. Sebastian had told him he was good, but he didn’t say he loved him.

Blaine cried himself to sleep in Sebastian’s arms, heart and body too overwhelmed with everything to continue to stay awake.

* * *

_“Blaine…come here, beautiful.”_

_Blaine looked up from where he was spread out on the couch watching some mindless TV show. Sebastian had been busy with work that day so Blaine was staying out of his way. But now Sebastian was calling to him from the bedroom, so Blaine slid off the couch, not bothering to turn off the TV and made his way over to Sebastian._

_“Hi,” Blaine said shyly, still a little nervous around Sebastian. It was only a few weeks ago that they’d really started dating and exploring their dynamics as a D/s couple, so Blaine was still a little unsure sometimes. But as Sebastian smiled at him and pulled him into his arms, he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed against him._

_“I have something for you,” Sebastian whispered, and Blaine pulled back a little to glance up at him, taking in the way the green of his eyes sparkled as they looked at Blaine._

_“It’s not my birthday.”_

_Sebastian laughed softly and rolled his eyes, kissing Blaine softly. “You’re ridiculous,” he teased, causing Blaine to smile softly._

_Sebastian pulled him further into the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bed as he grabbed something out of one of the dresser drawers, hiding it behind his back as he came over to stand in front of Blaine._

_“I know you’re still nervous about all this, and I will admit that our relationship is fairly new, but I wanted to give you something to remind you that you’re mine, but also that I’m yours. That I’m committed to this…to us…just like you are.”_

_Blaine nodded slowly, staring up at Sebastian in slight confusion. “Bas…” he whispered, eyes widening as Sebastian showed him a leather cuff._

_“Oh my god,” Blaine gasped, reaching out to gently run his fingers over it as though it would disappear if he didn’t make sure it was real._

_“Put it on me? Please?” he asked quickly._

_Sebastian nodded and moved to sit down next to Blaine, taking his left wrist gently. He wrapped the leather cuff around the delicate skin, clasping it shut as he placed a soft kiss to the back of Blaine’s wrist._

_“Beautiful,” he breathed._

_Tears sprung to Blaine’s eyes and he climbed onto Sebastian’s lap, kissing his Dom hard as he relished in the feeling of leather against the delicate skin of his wrist. He still wanted a collar, always had, but he knew that this was the first step in getting there. Sebastian wanted him, and him alone, just like Blaine wanted Sebastian._

* * *

Blaine woke from his dream, or rather his memory, slowly, full consciousness hitting him a few moment later. He reached out for Sebastian subconsciously, always searching for his Dom, but he grew cold as he realized Sebastian wasn’t there. It was Friday and neither of them had morning classes, so Sebastian should’ve been in bed with him. Blaine normally woke up first, but on the rare days he didn’t, Sebastian would always wake him with gentle kisses. But he hadn’t done that today and it was already…11AM. Blaine blinked a few times as he stared at the clock; he hadn’t slept this late in months.

Stumbling out of bed, Blaine pulled on a pair of boxers and made his way out of the bedroom to find Sebastian. Last night had been intense and he’d broken down and sobbed into Sebastian’s chest. He wanted to find his Dom so he could be held, his nerves still raw from everything that happened the night before.

“Asleep, Hunter…upset last night…let him sleep in…”

Sebastian’s voice filtered through the hallway as Blaine made his way towards the kitchen and Blaine froze. Sebastian was talking to Hunter…about him. It wasn’t like Blaine didn’t talk to Cooper or Nick and Jeff about Sebastian so Blaine wasn’t upset, but it piqued his curiosity, so he stayed out of sight where he could here. He knew it was wrong, Sebastian would punish him if he found out, but Blaine couldn’t stop himself.

“I don’t know what to do, Hunt.”

Blaine bit his lip as he heard that, confused at Sebastian’s words. Sebastian was always so put together and knowing and to hear him lost, even when Blaine didn’t know what it was about, threw Blaine off-kilter for a moment.

He stood there, leaning against the wall, as various parts of Sebastian’s phone call filtered through the hallway and to his ears.

“…not working out.”

“I have told him!”

“…don’t know how to tell him…”

“…need to talk to him…”

“…clearly upset about something…

“I don’t want him – ”

Blaine stopped listening at that point, not caring what else Sebastian said after he heard those words. Sebastian…Sebastian didn’t want him? He tried so hard to be perfect, to be a good sub and everything Sebastian needed, but he was right. Sebastian clearly didn’t love him.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Blaine moved back into the bedroom and climbed under the comforter to try to hide away from the world, Sebastian’s words playing through his mind continuously.

_I don’t want him. I don’t want him. I don’t want him._

* * *

Blaine couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day when he went to his classes at NYU. Sebastian’s words played through his mind over and over.

After what he heard, Blaine had stayed curled up in bed under the comforter until Sebastian came into the room, placing soft kisses across his face to wake him up, unaware that Blaine had been awake for a while already. There had been coffee and breakfast waiting for Blaine in the kitchen, and all of it made Blaine’s heart hurt because Sebastian was clearly just waiting to break up with him.

But Sebastian was too good of a person, and after Blaine’s breakdown the night before he was probably staying close until he thought Blaine was stable enough to be broken up with. He grasped his cuff at the thought - the comfort he normally found in the soft leather was absent - trying to will it away.

Sebastian had said he loved him weeks ago. He’d just overheard wrong - that had to be it.

None of it worked though. Blaine couldn’t convince himself that was true no matter how hard he tried.

_I don’t want him._

* * *

Blaine came home later than usual that afternoon, having stopped for coffee at one of his favorite shops and he decided to stay there for an hour or so and read, taking a break to escape from everything before he came home to Sebastian, mind still reeling over the phone call that he overheard that morning.

Sebastian knew he was going to be late because even in his upset state, Blaine knew that he should always text Sebastian to let him know if he wasn’t going to be home when he was supposed to be. The one time that Blaine forgot to do that at the beginning of their relationship had been an absolute nightmare, especially because he was two hours late to show up. Sebastian had been absolutely frantic and Blaine made sure to never make that mistake again.

As he walked into the apartment, Blaine heard the soft sounds of the TV and Sebastian laughing; the sound warmed his heart and made him forget for a moment what he last discovered when he heard Sebastian’s voice. Blaine let his book bag fall off his shoulders as he slipped his shoes off, making his way through the hallway and into the living room. He was upset and confused, lost in a way he hadn’t been for such a long time, but right now Blaine didn’t care about any of that or what he’d heard Sebastian say on the phone that morning. Blaine just needed to let go of everything and he needed Sebastian to help him do that.

“Sir, please,” Blaine breathed as he collapsed onto the couch in Sebastian’s lap, wrapping his arms around his Dom’s body as he buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“Blaine?” Sebastian asked carefully, voice worried but Blaine couldn’t focus on that.

“I need to let go, please. Sir…”

Sebastian took one look at Blaine before nodding quickly; whatever was wrong could be dealt with later but right now, Blaine desperately needed to escape from everything. It was clear in his eyes.

Wrapping his arms around Blaine, Sebastian laid him down on the couch, turning off the TV before he leaned over Blaine and completely covered his body with his own. Blaine mostly fell into subspace during the middle of a scene, but there had been times over the past month or so when Blaine had needed to let go, and Sebastian had simply held him and covered him, letting him know that he was there and protecting him as he whispered soft words into Blaine’s ear, helping him to let go of everything.

But as Blaine lay there underneath Sebastian, breathing slowly as he listened to the soft praises being whispered into his ear, he couldn’t let go. He was completely lost to the feeling of Sebastian covering his body, knowing that he was protected and in a safe space to let go and just float, but he  _couldn’t_ do it. Every time he felt even remotely close to falling into subspace, he was pulled back and jerked back into the world.

“I c-can’t…” Blaine sobbed, maneuvering himself out from underneath Sebastian so that he could curl up into a ball as he cried. He was supposed to let go; that’s what a sub did when they were with their Dom like this and Blaine couldn’t even do that. What kind of sub was he that he couldn’t even to fall into subspace anymore?

He barely felt the press of hands against his waist until his head was resting against Sebastian’s chest.

“Shh, I’ve got you, beautiful. You’re okay.”

Blaine knew the words were meant to help him, but they only made Blaine feel worse. Blaine curled into Sebastian’s side as he held him close, crying softly onto his chest.

"I’m s-sorry. I’m so sorry," he mumbled out, nose stuffy as he hid his face in Sebastian’s shoulders. He was so stupid, so bad; he couldn’t even fall into subspace the way he’d been able to ever since the first time. And Sebastian had tried so hard and Blaine just couldn’t let himself go and trust Sebastian tonight. "You can punish me, Sir. I k-know I was b-bad."

Sebastian shushed Blaine softly and he felt arms curl around his waist even tighter as legs intertwined with his own. Blaine closed his eyes tight as he felt a soft kiss being place to his forehead, turning his head up a little to face Sebastian.

"I’m not going to punish you, pet. It’s not a requirement for you to fall into subspace every time we’re together."

Blaine shook his head and wrapped his body around Sebastian’s tighter, trying to almost crawl inside of his skin and hide there, just like he always did when he was upset.

 ”But it is, Sir,” he cried, sniffling loudly as he grasped at the fabric of Sebastian’s button-down, not paying any attention to the fact that he might be wrinkling the fabric. “I’m your s-sub. I’m supposed to be good and trust you and let myself fall.”

"The only thing you’re supposed to do is be mine. It’s not a rule that you have to enter subspace, beautiful," Sebastian whispered, carding his fingers through Blaine’s hair to massage his scalp lightly. The action only served to make Blaine cry harder and feel worse.

Why did Sebastian care so much? He’d heard him on the phone earlier, and while not everything had been crystal clear, he knew Sebastian was just waiting to end their relationship. Blaine wasn’t good enough to keep Sebastian around; Sebastian didn’t love him the way he loved Sebastian and now he was going to lose him.

Blaine couldn’t say it out loud to Sebastian, but the reason he had trouble falling was because he felt lost now. He trusted Sebastian inexplicably, but now he that he knew Sebastian was just waiting for the right time to leave him, Blaine couldn’t let go and trust him in the same way. But he couldn’t tell Sebastian that because then Sebastian could just end it right there since Blaine knew already. He wouldn’t stay for longer, and Blaine needed him to stay. It was wrong, but Blaine wasn’t ready to let go of his Master; he needed him desperately, but he knew Sebastian didn’t need him anymore.

"You’re so good, pet."

Blaine blinked his eyes slowly as Sebastian’s words pierced through his thoughts, looking up at him with wide eyes. If he was so good, why was Sebastian leaving him?

* * *

They spent the night like that, curled up on the couch and never once moving from their spots. Sebastian held Blaine tight as the night wore on, wanting to know what was wrong but he decided he wouldn’t push until tomorrow, simply holding Blaine tight as they curled around each other tight on the couch and fell asleep, neither of them sleeping particularly soundly.

Blaine was the first one to wake up in the morning, his eyes still a little puffy as he blinked them open. He wasn’t ready to face the day yet and instead curled up into Sebastian, holding on tight for the moment; every moment mattered now and Blaine had to make sure to savor every single one of them.

As he felt Sebastian stir around him, Blaine tilted his head up to rest his chin against Sebastian’s chest, staring at his Dom with soft eyes. He loved watching Sebastian wake up, seeing the way his eyes would blink open as he slowly came into awareness. His arms always tightened around Blaine automatically to keep him close, and this morning was no different. Blaine smiled a little, the familiar action making him feel a little warmer, and he relished in the feeling of Sebastian’s safe arms around him. It was exactly what he needed and he worked on committing the feeling to memory because he wouldn’t have this for much longer.

“Morning, B,” Sebastian whispered, kissing Blaine’s forehead softly. Blaine leaned heavily into the touch, eyelids fluttering slowly.

“Morning,” he whispered back. “Want me to make breakfast?”

Sebastian hummed softly, shaking his head as he cupped Blaine’s cheek gently, his thumb brushing over the soft skin. “I want us to talk about something first.”

Blaine froze. No. No no no. This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Blaine wasn’t ready for this to all end and for his world to come crashing down around –

“What upset you last night?”

Blaine froze. That wasn’t what he was expecting Sebastian to say but it was a relief compared to his other thoughts, even if he didn’t know how to explain what was wrong to Sebastian without revealing that he knew Sebastian wanted to break up with him, which would only tell Sebastian that it was  _okay_ to finally leave him because Blaine knew. But it wasn’t okay. It would never be okay, so Blaine knew that he couldn’t tell Sebastian what he was thinking.

“I was just upset I couldn’t fall into subspace,” Blaine shrugged, trying to play it off as though it was no big deal, hoping Sebastian would believe him.

He should’ve known better.

“I know that was jarring for you, but I meant before that. Talk to me, Blaine. Why did you come home so upset and needing to fall into subspace?”

“It was nothing, Sebastian,” Blaine murmured, using his full name and rolling his eyes to try to get Sebastian to leave it alone. But it wouldn’t work; they’d slipped into a dynamic of consistent and constant dominance and submission, something that Blaine loved normally, but right now he wished Sebastian didn’t expect him to talk to him.

“You know I won’t believe that,” Sebastian said, raising an eyebrow as he waited for Blaine to give him a real answer.

Blaine shrugged and climbed off the couch. “Not my problem,” he said, waving his hand dismissively, trying to run away from everything.

“Blaine,” Sebastian breathed, voice full of dominance and it made Blaine stop and turn on his heels, staring up at Sebastian as he swallowed, trying to compose himself again. “Tell me what is going on.”

Blaine took a deep breath, knowing that what he was about to do would get him in trouble, but anything was better than admitting the truth.

“Shut up,” he breathed, clenching his fists as a voice inside of him told him he was the one who needed to shut up, what he was doing was no way to treat his Dom. “You’re always nagging me and pushing me to tell you what’s wrong. I don’t have to tell you everything, Sebastian! So just shut up and leave me the fuck alone. I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m not some fragile little child!”

“On your knees, now,” Sebastian ordered, voice cold and hard. There was absolutely no room for argument and Sebastian’s eyes were practically black as he stared Blaine down. Blaine could see the angry veins in his Dom’s neck and even if he wanted to resist, he couldn’t. He immediately fell to his knees and bowed his head, biting his lip as he waited. He was in deep trouble, and he knew it.

“You are not to speak unless I specifically tell you that you can,” Sebastian ordered, circling Blaine slowly as he stared down at the boy.

Blaine felt small under Sebastian’s stare and words, trying to practically hide himself but he didn’t dare move an inch. Blaine didn’t do anything more than breathe, afraid of upsetting Sebastian even further.

“You should know better, Blaine. I don’t see you as a fragile little child,” Sebastian scolded and the sub couldn’t stop from flinching a little. “You don’t have to tell me everything, that’s true. But you don’t need to be so disrespectful. You don’t bottle emotions because then you attack people who have done nothing wrong.”

Sebastian moved over to the couch and sat down. “Come here, pet. I want you to pull your pants and boxers down and then position yourself across my lap.”

Blaine scrambled to his feet, the idea of disobeying and refusing to listen nowhere present in his mind. He pulled his pants down and lay across Sebastian’s lap, resting his head against the couch as he grabbed onto one of the throw pillows to prepare himself.

“Count, Blaine,” Sebastian ordered, and Blaine didn’t even have to ask what was going to happen. He was getting a spanking and he wasn’t really surprised.

“One!” Blaine gasped as the first hit came, ass cheeks clenching as they turned a light pink.

Sebastian spanked Blaine four more times, making sure Blaine counted each one before he continued. He lightly rubbed over Blaine’s reddening skin before he brought two quick spanks down across Blaine’s sit spot.

“Six! Seven!” Blaine moaned, fingers clenching hard around the pillow he was holding onto.

“Why am I punishing you, Blaine?” Sebastian asked harshly, spanking him again.

“Eight! Oh…oh my god,” Blaine breathed, biting hard on his lips. It’d been a while since he last had a spanking and his ass cheeks were on fire, distracting him for a moment before Sebastian brought his hand down again. “Nine!”

“Don’t make me ask again.”

Blaine nodded quickly at Sebastian’s order. “Because I was bad,” he cried out, tears pooling in his eyes as he buried his face into the couch. “I bottled my emotions and took them out on you. I yelled at you when you did nothing more than take care of me and try to help.”

“Good boy,” Sebastian breathed, spanking Blaine once more, waiting for Blaine to count out ten before he pulled Blaine up and into his arms. He cradled him in his lap, spreading his legs so Blaine’s ass rested in between them and didn’t touch the fabric of the couch.

“Your punishment is over, beautiful,” Sebastian praised, kissing Blaine’s forehead and the hardness in his voice slowly seeped away. “You were so good for me. I know it’s hard to talk about things, and I’m not going to push you to talk to me if you really don’t want to, but that doesn’t mean you can be disrespectful to me like you were.”

Blaine nodded slowly and curled his arms around Sebastian’s waist, closing his eyes as he rested his head against Sebastian’s chest. He was so exhausted and confused. Sebastian punished him because he’d been bad, but if Sebastian was waiting for the right time to leave him, why didn’t he just use that as his way out? Why spend time taking care of Blaine and showing him what he did wrong to try to help him be better in the future?

Blaine’s thoughts were running rampant and he was so tired of it all. He leaned heavily against Sebastian and let himself drift off into a light sleep, trying to forget everything that happened. His punishment had been a relief, something he desperately needed, but it was also something that now left him disoriented, unsure what exactly was happening with Sebastian.

* * *

The next few days passed in awkward silences and unsure looks. Blaine wouldn’t tell Sebastian what was going on, and in turn Sebastian didn’t push. But Blaine was pulling away because he was so scared of getting too used to Sebastian, and he could tell Sebastian was confused by it. Sebastian had even asked him if the punishment had gone too far, but Blaine had told him no and apologized for being so distant.

Blaine called Cooper a few times over those days, needing his help because he was so unsure what to do. But every conversation always boiled down to the same things: Cooper telling him that he needed to talk to Sebastian about everything. He’d tried to tell Blaine that he could’ve misheard the phone conversation, but Blaine was too far gone in his belief that Sebastian was going to leave him that he barely heard it.

It took a little while, but Sebastian and Blaine slowly moved back into their routine. Blaine tried to forget what he’d heard, ignoring it to the best of his ability as he let himself just  _be_ with Sebastian again. He couldn’t fall into subspace, hadn’t tried again because he feared – and in the back of his mind, knew – that it wouldn’t work.

* * *

Blaine was at his favorite coffee shop, taking a break between classes to just watch the people of the city walk by, when he heard the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, glancing up to see the smiling face of Hunter staring back at him.

“Mind if I sit?” Hunter asked, although it wasn’t much of a question since he was already in the process of sitting down when he asked.

It’d been a few weeks since Blaine had last seen or talked to Hunter, the same being true in regards to Nick and Jeff. After that phone call he overheard and all his worries with Sebastian, Blaine had pulled away from his friends because he was scared that if he confided in them, they’d run to Sebastian and tell him everything that Blaine was thinking.

He didn’t even know how to talk to them right now anyway. Blaine couldn’t tell them what was wrong but they were all perceptive enough to know that something was wrong. And while Sebastian would let Blaine be until he was ready to talk, only pushing here and there to try to get him to open up, everyone else was annoyingly persistent.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile, Blainey. I miss my friend,” Hunter murmured, raising an eyebrow over the lid of his coffee as he took a drink. “Where have you been hiding?”

Blaine rolled his eyes a little, unable to keep a slight smile from twitching at the corners of his mouth. Hunter really was one of his closest friends and he did miss him, all of them really, but he couldn’t do this right now, especially not when he knew Hunter was the one Sebastian had confided in about wanting to break up. Sebastian had told Hunter that he didn’t want Blaine anymore, and Blaine didn’t know how he was supposed to look Hunter in the eyes knowing that that happened.

“Sorry, Hunt,” Blaine mumbled, playing with the lid of his coffee mug. “Just been busy with the last semester before I graduate. I haven’t meant to be completely missing or anything. I’m sorry.”

Hunter waved off Blaine’s apology, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Blaine. Just give a guy a warning when you’re going to go incognito for a while, yeah? Nick and Jeff too.”

Blaine smiled slightly and nodded, unable to stop himself from biting down on his lip. “I’ll do that,” he murmured, taking a bite of the biscotti that was sitting on the table, avoiding Hunter’s gaze. Being a Dom like Sebastian meant Hunter was good at reading people and understanding what they were feeling. And considering the fact he’d known Hunter for a few years now, Blaine was worried that Hunter would be able to see right through him and guess what was wrong, so he immediately tried to veer the conversation away from him.

“How are things with Mel?” he asked gently.

“Melanie’s amazing,” Hunter smiled, eyes glossing over for a moment as he clearly got lost in his thoughts. “She’s a perfect girlfriend and a perfect sub. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.”

Blaine breathed out slowly, smiling softly at Hunter. “That’s really great, Hunt. I’m glad you two are working out.”

“Speaking of couples…” Hunter murmured, raising an eyebrow as he looked over Blaine. “How’re things with Sebastian? You look a little…down.”

Blaine sighed, deciding to give Hunter the absolute bare bones of the situation. “We’re okay. He…he had to punish me last week because I’ve been bottling up some emotions and I took it out on him.”

Hunter nodded slowly in understanding.

“Have you talked to him about it yet?”

Blaine shrugged. “What’s the point? It doesn’t seem to matter anymore.”

Hunter simply stared at Blaine curiously, opening his mouth to say something before his phone rang. “Shit,” he mumbled as he saw it was Melanie. “I’m late.”

Hunter stood up quickly and finished his coffee, looking at Blaine for a quick moment.

“Talk to Sebastian, Blaine. And call me so we can all go out again sometime,” he told him before he left the coffee shop, leaving Blaine feeling even more confused. Hunter knew that him and Sebastian were going to break up and it felt like he was just rubbing salt into Blaine’s wounds.

Blaine stayed huddled in his coffee shop for a little while, trying not to think about anything before he left to go to his next class.

* * *

When Blaine walked through the door at the end of the day, he was greeted by the sound of Sebastian’s voice. But it was directed at him and Blaine slowly made his way into the house, careful not to be too loud because he didn’t want to disturb Sebastian.

“That’s what he said, Hunt?”

Blaine sighed as Sebastian’s voice filtered through, moving into the living room as he lay down on the couch and covered his head with a pillow, trying to block out Sebastian’s voice. He didn’t want to overhear this phone conversation too, but it was almost impossible not to hear snippets through the thing walls of their apartment.

“…I’ll do it tomorrow…”

“…I hope so.”

“I’m worried about him….”

“Yes, okay? I’ll do it tomorrow…”

Blaine closed his eyes tight at the words. Tomorrow. Sebastian was going to break up with him tomorrow and there was nothing Blaine could do to stop it. Everything was going to crumble around him in the next 24 hours and Blaine didn’t know what he was going to do when it did.

* * *

Blaine spent the night attached at Sebastian’s side - curling tight against him as they ate dinner, laying his head against Sebastian’s calves as they worked on homework and when they went to bed, Blaine wrapped himself around Sebastian as best he could, trying to completely cover him as he held him close through the night.

The morning went like any other, with Blaine waking up first and watching Sebastian as he came into awareness. They ate breakfast together and Sebastian pulled him in for a long kiss before he left the apartment to go to class. Blaine was supposed to leave an hour after Sebastian, but he didn’t today. He couldn’t bring himself to face the world.

He spent the hours of the day curled up on the couch, staring at the TV as it played through various movies, but he didn’t pay particular attention to what was going on during anyone of them. Glancing at the clock, Blaine realized that it was only an hour until Sebastian got home; an hour before everything ended.

Making a snap decision, Blaine turned off the TV and hurried over to the door, collapsing onto his knees on the hardwood floor, ignoring any pain that it caused him. He would be a perfect sub for Sebastian, waiting for him at the door like this despite the dull aches in his knees that only grew stronger as time went by. But Blaine didn’t move. He had to be perfect; if he were perfect, Sebastian wouldn’t leave him.

* * *

When Sebastian walked through the door a little over an hour later, Blaine had yet to move from his spot. He’d spent the last hour kneeling on the hardwood floor, quiet and in a submissive position as he waited for Sebastian. He heard the falter in Sebastian’s footsteps as he moved into the apartment since Blaine never once kneeled and waited for him like this.

“Blaine?” Sebastian asked, cupping Blaine’s cheek to force him to lift his head. “Beautiful, what are you doing?”

Blaine didn’t say anything, staring up into soft green eyes, as he got lost in them, trying to memorize every swirl and the yellow flecks near Sebastian’s pupils. The pain in his knees was all but forgotten as he focused solely on Sebastian; nothing else matter anymore.

Sebastian sighed when he didn’t get a response, brushing his thumb over the skin of Blaine’s cheek slowly, causing Blaine’s eyelids to flutter as he tilted his head into the touch.

“Please don’t leave me,” Blaine whispered, dropping his had back down; his voice was so quiet that if Sebastian had been standing just an inch further away, he wouldn’t have heard Blaine. Which might’ve been what Blaine wanted, but Sebastian  _did_ here him and his eyes went wide.

“I’m not leaving you, Blaine,” Sebastian promised, moving to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of Blaine. “Look at me.”

Sniffling a little, Blaine lifted his head, taking a few more moments to open his eyes and look at Sebastian again. He wasn’t ready to face the rejection; even Sebastian’s words from a second ago seemed like a distant memory and Blaine was struggling to hold on to them and find comfort in them. He felt lost in ways he hadn’t since the first moment he had met Sebastian, and Blaine didn’t know what to do anymore or what was going to happen. He was out at sea in a storm and there was no life vest to keep him floating, not if Sebastian left him.

“I want you to listen to my words very carefully,” Sebastian whispered, holding Blaine’s cheeks so he couldn’t look away.

Blaine nodded a little, eyes flickering over every line of Sebastian’s face.

“I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am  _never_ leaving you, Blaine. Okay? You’re my boyfriend and my sub and the only time I’ll let you go is if that is what you ask me for,” Sebastian promised, voice hard as it left no room for argument. Even Blaine’s warped mind at the moment couldn’t find a trace of insincerity in any of Sebastian’s words.

“You’re not leaving me?” Blaine choked out, his throat thick with tears as he looked at Sebastian with desperate hazel eyes, needing to know it was true, needing that anchor back to tether hold him down.

“No. I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise,” Sebastian breathed, kissing Blaine’s forehead. “Is this what’s had you so upset this past week?”

Blaine nodded slowly; his body shook with the need to feel close to Sebastian, to let himself break in his arms and know that he was safe; Sebastian would be there to build him back up against just like he always was.

“Sir, please,” Blaine begged.

“What do you need?”

Blaine whimpered, shifting on his knees but the action only made him gasp in pain. Sebastian’s eyes widened as Blaine’s face scrunched up to show his discomfort, and Blaine soon found himself cradled in Sebastian’s arms, no longer kneeling as he was carried to the bedroom.

As he was put down on their bed, Blaine refused to let go of his tight grip on Sebastian’s shirt, making his Dom crawl onto the bed with him and pull him into his arms. Blaine rested his head against Sebastian’s chest, ear pressed against the place where his heart was as he listened to the steady beating, letting the sound of Sebastian help soothe him.

“Say it again,” Blaine asked, clutching Sebastian as he wrapped his arms around his waist tight. “Tell me you’re not leaving.”

“I’m not leaving,” Sebastian whispered. He placed soft kisses over Blaine’s cheeks and forehead, promising not to leave with every touch of his lips. “I’ll always be here, beautiful.”

Blaine smiled softly at relaxed into Sebastian’s hold, the words soothing over his fears and fighting them back down. He still didn’t understand, it didn’t seem real, but Blaine wasn’t going to question anything right now. Sebastian was here and holding him, promising to never leave, and it’s all that Blaine needed for the moment – that reassurance.

Sebastian started to pull away, causing Blaine to whine and hold on tighter. A soft chuckle escaped from Sebastian and he carded his fingers through Blaine’s curls slowly.

“I’m not going anywhere, I just want to check on your knees.”

Reluctantly, Blaine let Sebastian go, eyes watching Sebastian’s every movement. He felt his yoga pants being rolled up, hissing as they brushed over his knees and he heard Sebastian let out a slow breath.

“Oh, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, Sir,” Blaine said quickly, feeling as though Sebastian was disappointed in him.

Sebastian kissed Blaine’s thighs, just above the outline of his bruises, before he looked back up at Blaine, smiling gently and it reassured Blaine.

“It’s okay. I understand why you did this,” Sebastian breathed and Blaine could hear a drop of sadness in his voice. “But baby, you really hurt yourself here. I want you to stay right here while I go get some ice. Take a few deep breaths and count to ten. I’ll be back before your done.”

As Sebastian stood up and moved out of the room, anxiety rushed through Blaine and he had to take a deep breath like Sebastian told him to do. He closed his eyes tight, softly counting out loud.

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eig-“

A soft touch to his cheek cute Blaine off and he opened his eyes, sighing as he found Sebastian smiling at him as he sat back down on the bed.

“See? Nothing to worry about,” Sebastian promised.

Blaine sighed as a soft kiss was placed to his forehead. “Okay”

“I want you to hold still for me, okay?”

Blaine nodded.

A few seconds later, Blaine felt the touch of cloth against his knees, biting his lip as they scratched over his bruises before the pain settled and he felt coldness seeping through the towel as it spread over onto his knees. He let out a soft sigh, some of the pain receding.

“Thank you,” Blaine whispered, tilting his head on the pillow so he could get a better look at Sebastian.

“You’re welcome, B.”

Sebastian crawled back up the bed and laid down next to Blaine, their bodies as close as they could be as Sebastian carded his fingers through Blaine’s soft curls, twisting them around his fingers as he started to massage Blaine’s scalp. Blaine gave into the touch, eyes slipping closed as he let himself just be; he was okay, Sebastian would keep him safe.

As they lay there, Blaine slowly felt his mind begin to slip away and instead of fighting it, he dove headfirst into it, letting everything melt away until he was no longer aware of anything except for the feeling of Sebastian taking care of him. Relief washed through him as he finally felt the feeling of complete nothingness come back to him; nothing mattered anymore. Sebastian was there to keep him warm and safe and Blaine could just let go again.

He was faintly aware of soft words being whispered into his ear and the feeling of fingers massaging his scalp, but it was all background noise as he floated, soon slipping into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When Blaine woke again a few hours later the sky had turned dark and there was a faint light shining in the room. Blaine rubbed at his eyes, opening them slowly to see a book propped up on his Dom’s lap. He smiled at the familiar sight, turning his head where it lay on Sebastian’s chest to look at Sebastian’s face, yawning a little as he came back to full awareness. There were soft touches against his scalp, and Blaine smiled to himself at the thought that Sebastian hadn’t stop soothing him even while he’d started reading as Blaine slept.

“Hi,” Blaine croaked out, voice still a little rough since he’d woken up.

Sebastian dog-eared the page of his book to mark his place, putting it down onto the nightstand before he turned back to Blaine, smiling gently.

“Welcome back to the world of the living, beautiful,” Sebastian murmured, kissing Blaine’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

Blaine took a moment to think, knowing after everything that just happened Sebastian wouldn’t take kindly to an answer that Blaine wasn’t one hundred percent sure about. He stretched his legs out, noticing that the ice had been removed from his knees at some point, but the pain still stayed away. Sebastian had probably rubbed some soothing lotion onto them to help with the bruising and pain while he slept, it wasn’t something that hadn’t happened before when Blaine had gotten hurt doing something silly like jumping on furniture.

A light touch to his cheek brought Blaine back to the present and he glanced up at Sebastian, taking a deep breath before he nodded, knowing that Sebastian didn’t want to have to ask him again.

“Better,” Blaine breathed, frowning as he looked down at Sebastian’s chest, fingers picking at invisible lint as he thought. “But worse, too. I don’t….I didn’t talk to you when and I doubted you when I shouldn’t have. And I can’t… I’m so sorry, Sir. But I…I also feel okay again. Like, it’s okay to let go and just be because I know that I was wrong and you’re not leaving.”

Sebastian nodded slowly and Blaine could feel the gaze of his eyes as Sebastian tried to pierce through him and read his mind to understand completely.

“Tell me why you thought I was going to leave you.”

It wasn’t a question and Blaine felt the guilt swarm in him as he realized just how bad he’d been. He’d doubted his Master and listened in on his phone call, making assumptions and hurting himself and Sebastian in the process. And Sebastian had done nothing but be there for him and help him and reassure him, and Blaine was never honest about his fears or what was bothering him.

“I overheard you on the phone with Hunter,” Blaine whispered, lying down again to hide his face in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. Sebastian didn’t try to move him, which Blaine was grateful for; it was easier for him to talk when he couldn’t see Sebastian, couldn’t see the disappointment that would filter through those beautiful green eyes.

“Keep going, Blaine.”

Blaine nodded slowly, letting the order wash over him to help him push through and be honest with Sebastian. “I…I think it began with the first time I fell into subspace,” Blaine whispered, voice quiet. “You…I said I loved you. And you said it back but I … I doubted it. I was afraid you just said it in the moment to help me because I was so vulnerable. I called Coop and he told me to talk to you, but I was scared. I didn’t want it to be true.”

Blaine felt the way Sebastian tensed underneath him and he closed his eyes tight, knowing that he was hurting his Dom as he explained everything that happened in his mind, but he kept going because Sebastian deserved to know why his sub had been so tense lately.

“And then I heard you talking to Hunter, saying that we needed to t-talk and that you d-didn’t want me. And I couldn’t…couldn’t fall into subspace after that and I kept worrying that you were just waiting to l-leave me again. And I bumped into Hunter and he just seemed so cryptic and then I heard you yesterday on the phone with him again saying you were going to do it tomorrow and tell me something and I’ve just been waiting for you to l-leave m-me. And I knelt at the door to wait for you and be a p-perfect sub, because if you saw me being perfect maybe you wouldn’t leave me and…and…”

Blaine cut himself off, crying into Sebastian’s neck as his body shook, all of his fears and anxieties crashing over him as he realized how wrong…how  _bad_ …he’d been. He felt strong arms wrap around his waist and he curled up into a ball against Sebastian, sniffling as the tears fell heavily from his eyes and he took in gasps of air, trying to calm down.

“Shh, beautiful,” Sebastian soothed, whispering into Blaine’s ear as he held him as tight as he could. “You were wrong, baby. I’m not leaving you and there is nothing for you to be afraid of.”

Blaine nodded slowly, clutching at Sebastian as the tears slowly stopped. He sniffled and nuzzled against Sebastian, his body slowly uncurling from the tight ball he’d wound himself up into.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I know you are, but you broke a lot of rules baby and you didn’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine whispered again.

Sebastian sighed and turned his head, eyes meeting Blaine’s and Blaine got a brief glimpse of the hurt he’d caused Sebastian before it was gone. But just that glimpse, that small moment, made Blaine realize that Blaine hadn’t only hurt himself in this. No, he’d hurt his Dom; his Sebastian.

“First of all, you overheard both conversations wrong. I didn’t tell Hunter I didn’t want you, that is the furthest thing from the truth. You only heard snippets apparently. I told Hunter I didn’t want you to be upset and that it broke my heart and the two of us needed to talk so I could understand what was going on. The second phone call was something similar. And there was something I was going to do today, which is not even close to breaking up with you or leaving you, but I think it’s best that we wait until your punishment is over.”

“Punishment?” Blaine squeaked out, biting his lip as he looked up at Sebastian. It wasn’t a surprise, deep down Blaine knew it was coming, but Blaine was still worried about it. “Do you…want me to get over your lap?”

Sebastian shook his head and cupped Blaine’s cheek. “No, Blaine. This punishment is going to be different and it’s going to last longer than a few minutes.”

Blaine’s eyes widened but he didn’t say anything as Sebastian spoke.

“This issue you’ve been having, this deep-seated fear that I somehow lied to you when I said I love you and this worry and anxiety you have that I’m going to leave you alone runs deeper than just something between you and me. This goes back to how your family treated and all the people that have left you behind. And you trust me, I know you do. You trust that I’ll take care of you and keep you safe, but you don’t trust that I’ll always be there for you no matter what happens/”

Blaine dropped his gaze, taking in a few slow breaths as he processed everything Sebastian was telling him. It was true; Blaine knew it even though he’d always refused to admit his issues to himself. He avoided them back in Ohio and he brought that avoidance with him to New York, which in turn brought his insecurities into his relationship with Sebastian.

“You need to trust that I won’t leave you no matter you say or do or ask for. So for the next week, I’ll only extend it if I feel I need to, you’re going to be completely reliant on me. I don’t want you doing anything, even tying your shoes, without asking me first. You need to learn to trust that I will always,  _always_  be there for you and this is the best way I can think of. It’s a punishment, because I know it’s going to be hard for you to give up even the smallest amount of freedom, but it will only be for a week. And every night you’re going to sit in the corner for twenty minutes and think about why this is happening and what it makes you feel. You need to learn to trust me when I say I will always be here to take care of you.”

Blaine nodded slowly in understanding, knowing he would to anything Sebastian asked of him to make things okay again.

* * *

The next week passed with a lot of mental battles for Blaine. Remembering to ask Sebastian for everything, even asking if he could take a bite of food and eat, was one of the hardest thing’s he’d ever done. When he was at school, Sebastian said he was free to make decisions in the classroom, but if he wanted to stop for a coffee before he came home, he had to text Sebastian for permission. Blaine didn’t even think about doing that, instead going straight home after classes.

When he found himself in the corner every night for twenty minutes before they went to bed, Blaine gradually found himself accepting the fact that Sebastian wasn’t going anywhere. Sebastian’s hand resting on his shoulder behind him as he knelt there on a pillow helped Blaine hold onto that knowledge. Whenever he needed him, Sebastian was there and he didn’t hesitate. Sebastian was Blaine’s anchor, an anchor that would always be there.

Blaine found that his fears began to slip away through the week and by the time Saturday rolled around, marking the end of his punishment, Blaine didn’t doubt Sebastian anymore. Sebastian was his Master and Master would never lie to him and would never leave him; he’d always be there.

* * *

“You’ve been so good for me,” Sebastian whispered Saturday morning, kissing Blaine’s forehead as Blaine knelt on the bed for him. “My good boy. You’re punishments over now, baby.”

Blaine smiled softly, leaning into Sebastian’s kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Thank you?”

Blaine nodded. “Yeah. I…I feel better now. I can…I can breathe completely. I’m not…I’m not afraid that you’re going to pick up and leave me anymore.”

When Sebastian smiled wide, warmth swarmed through Blaine’s heart at the knowledge that he’d done something inexplicably right and made Sebastian happy.

“Stay here,” Sebastian murmured, moving away from Blaine.

Blaine watched Sebastian closely as he moved through the room, hands locked in front of his lap as he kneeled on the bed. He didn’t know what was going on and he couldn’t think of something he’d done wrong to make Sebastian pull away. Blaine had been so good for the past week and there was something in Sebastian’s eyes that told him he hadn’t pulled away to just grab a glass of water or something. Sebastian rummaged through a drawer that Blaine had been ordered to never go into. It was where all of their toys were kept and Sebastian trusted him to never touch it, and Blaine never had. But why was he going there now? They weren’t playing right now and Blaine was still coming back into himself at his punishment. He tried to keep his mind from racing like it always did, knowing Sebastian had been teaching him to not worry so much over the past week, but it was still there a little bit. It would slowly fade the longer he was with Sebastian, but sometimes, the anxiety took over even when he knew there was no reason for it to.

"Blaine…" Sebastian whispered, walking over to the bed and sitting down in front of his sub, a box in his hands. "Come closer."

Blaine nodded quickly, biting his lip. What was in the box? Were they knew handcuffs? What was Sebastian planning?

"Calm your mind, beautiful," Sebastian whispered, cupping Blaine’s cheek with his free. Blaine breathed out a slight sigh and nodded, closing his eyes briefly to let himself relax again; sometimes it was hard for him to remember that he didn’t have to react right away, it was okay to wait and see with Sebastian.

"Good boy."

Blaine smiled softly at the praise, opening his eyes and looking up at Sebastian. The soft smile on his Dom’s face made Blaine realize that this wasn’t a punishment thing or something to worry about; Sebastian never smiled before a punishment. But it only made the questions of the box more prominent.

"Master…"

"Shh, pet," Sebastian whispered, moving slowly to kneel in front of Blaine, careful to still stay a few inches above the other boy. He opened the box slowly and Blaine’s eyes widened.

Slowly, Blaine reached out and touched the cool leather, eyes filling with tears as he glanced from Sebastian to the leather and back again, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. They hadn’t talked about this in so long and Blaine thought Sebastian forgot, but it was something he’d been waiting for since before he even met Sebastian.

A collar.

“I love you, Blaine,” Sebastian breathed and it only made the tears that had collected in Blaine’s eyes began to fall. His breathing hitched and he stared up at Sebastian as he spoke, his fingers still brushing over the leather.

“This is what I was going to tell you last week before everything happened. It’s also why I hadn’t said I loved you again. The first time I planned to say I loved you was going to be when I presented you with this collar. It slipped out that night, but I still wanted to hold it close. If I had known how much that would confuse I never would have done that, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. But you need to know that I love you, Blaine. And this collar, if you accept it, is going to be a symbol that you are  _mine._ You’re my sub, my boyfriend, my love and I’m never letting you go. I’ll hold the key to the lock and you’ll always have this on you, along with your cuff, to remember that I love you and you’ll always have me there.”

“P-put it on me?” Blaine asked softly, staring up at Sebastian.

Sebastian smiled, a gentle smile that was full of love. He placed the box down on the bed and took the collar out of its box, slowly placing it around Blaine’s neck, locking it shut.

Blaine gasped as the cool leather hit his skin; the sound of his collar clicking shut sending a thrill down his spine and Blaine knew completely that he was Sebastian’s. Any lingering doubt that he’d had after his punishment slipped out of his mind and Blaine felt utterly owned and loved.

_He was Sebastian’s._

Blaine pushed forward and crashed his body against Sebastian’s causing them both to fall back on the bed while laughing softly.

“I love you too,” Blaine whispered as he straddled Sebastian’s body, pressing his chest against his to melt their bodies together. “So much. You’re everything to me. And I’m…I know it now. _I’m yours.”_

“Mine,” Sebastian breathed.

He pulled Blaine in for a deep kiss as they fell together, wrapped around each other for the rest of the day, limbs tangled together; they each lost sight of where they ended and the other one began as they whispered declarations of love to each other, kissing over each others body and losing themselves in the blissful feeling of each other.

* * *

Sebastian and Blaine spent the weekend in unadulterated bliss, completely lost within each other and blind to the world around them. Nothing else mattered except for them.

They wrote their contract through whispered voices and stolen kisses, giggling as Blaine told Sebastian everything he wanted to try and smirking as Sebastian told Blaine of al the ways he’d make sure Blaine was taken care of.

By late Sunday night, after over 36 hours of simply laying together and talking and bringing each other to pleasure and back down again, they had a finished contract and Blaine was already in love with the feeling of the leather against his neck.

As they each signed their names on the contract – placing it safely in a folder in the desk drawer for anytime they needed it – a sense of perfection washed over both of them and they knew that nothing was going to break them. Blaine was now Sebastian’s without a question, but Sebastian was equally Blaine’s.

* * *

A week later found Blaine and Sebastian back at the BDSM club where they’d first met. Hunter had insisted they come out after Sebastian called him to tell him he’d finally presented Blaine with the collar he’d had for almost a month. As they walked in and over to a booth in the back, they found Melanie curled up on Hunter’s lap as Jeff curled into Nick’s side.

“What a typical sight,” Sebastian drawled, smirking as he slid into the booth and pulled Blaine to sit down on his lap, laughing as Blaine squeaked at the sudden movement.

“Let’s see it,” Hunter smirked back, eyes traveling to Blaine’s neck where the black leather stuck out prominently against the boy’s olive skin. Sebastian had made sure Blaine wore a low V-neck shirt to show it off, allowing him to wear a scarf as they walked through the city, but it had quickly been discarded when they walked into the club.

“It’s so pretty!” Jeff giggled, climbing over Nick’s lap to the other side so he could move closer to Blaine. “Tell me everything, Blainey!”

Blaine giggled and looked to Sebastian for permission, kissing him quickly when he got a soft nod in return. He slid of Sebastian’s lap and curled up with Jeff in the booth, excitedly telling Jeff everything that had happened over the past few weeks.

“It’s about time,” Nick said, pulling Sebastian’s gaze away from Nick and Blaine’s happy face to look at Nick and Hunter. Melanie was sleeping softly against Hunter’s chest but Sebastian didn’t ask, knowing that as a nurse her days were often long and stressful.

“Better late than never,” Sebastian chuckled, leaning over to talk to Nick and Hunter, reaching behind him to hold Blaine’s hand as he did.

Blaine smiled softly, lacing his fingers with Sebastian’s as he glanced at him for a moment, squeezing his hand before he turned back to Jeff, radiating pure happiness as he told his friend everything and showed off his new collar.

* * *

When they got back form the club later that night, both sweating already from dancing and a little tipsy from having a beer each, Sebastian pushed Blaine up against the wall and kissed him hard.

Blaine didn’t even think about fighting back, relaxing against the wall as he let Sebastian take control. His eyes slipped closed and his body felt hotter than it had out on that crowded dance floor. It was like Sebastian was  _everywhere_ and Blaine was paralyzed by the knowledge that he was completely owned. A loud moan escaped from his lips as Sebastian attached his mouth to Blaine’s pulse point, just above his collar, sucking hard at the skin there until a deep bruise formed.

“Master…please,” Blaine whined, clutching at Sebastian’s back as he wrapped his legs around Sebastian’s waist, trusting him to hold him up and support him.

Hands roamed until the rested against Blaine’s ass, holding him up like Blaine had wanted, pushing Blaine further against the wall before he wrapped one arm around Blaine’s waist, the other still supporting him from underneath as he carried him into the bedroom, letting him fall onto the bed. Sebastian wasted no time in stripping Blaine’s clothes off, letting them pool into a mess on the floor as he stripped his own clothes off, staring at Blaine with lust in his eyes.

“Gonna show you who you belong to, pet,” Sebastian groaned, walking over to their play drawer to grab a few things. When he came back, Blaine felt his arms being tied above his head to the headboard and his legs were spread, each ankle tied to the bottom of the bed.

He moaned loudly and arched his back, needing more, needing Sebastian to touch him.

“Master…”

“I saw all those boys looking at you,” Sebastian whispered, cutting Blaine off as he climbed onto the bed, straddling Blaine’s hips, their cocks brushing together. Blaine shivered underneath him and Sebastian smirked. “Everyone stared at you tonight in the club, watching your hips move. The Doms all wanted you and the subs stared at your collar in envy. But you’re  _mine,_ Blaine.”

“Yes!” Blaine groaned, eyes blown wide as he stared at Sebastian. “All yours. Just yours, Master. Please. I need you, please.”

“Safeword?” Sebastian asked before they continued.

“Snow leopard,” Blaine breathed and a moment later a blindfold covered his eyes. He gasped at the sudden darkness, the feeling of Sebastian straddling him the only thing that kept him from feeling anxious; Sebastian would take care of him.

“I just want you to feel, pet. Want you to feel the touch of my skin against yours and know how much I love you and how much you’re mine.”

Blaine breathed out shakily, eyes rolling to the back of his head as fingers danced over his nipples until they were hard. There was something hot and wet enveloping his nipples when his fingers moved away;  _Master’s tongue,_ Blaine’s mind provided.

Just as Blaine was getting lost in the feeling of Sebastian playing with his nipples, he felt something cold being pressed against his entrance before it slipped inside and slowly stretched him.

“Oh…” Blaine gasped. He’d never felt Sebastian like this before. Sebastian always stretched him and Blaine knew what it was like to have Sebastian’s lubed fingers inside of him and stretching him open, but with the blindfold, everything was heightened. Blaine didn’t know what was coming next or what to expect and every touch was amplified, making every nerve-ending stand up on edge.

As Sebastian stretched him open, wasting hardly anytime in adding a second and then a third finger, Blaine was completely lost to the sensations. His body was on fire and Blaine didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to love. He was surrounded by the scent…the taste…the _feel_ of Sebastian.

“Master…” Blaine breathed, arching his back to try to get Sebastian deeper to push against his prostate, but Sebastian just chuckled.

“You’ll get that when I choose to give that to you, pet,” Sebastian teased, licking over the head of Blaine’s cock, the sudden action causing Blaine to buck his hips and groan loudly.

 _“Please!”_ Blaine begged, practically sobbing in desperation. “Need you in me Master…I can’t…”

With one quick movement, Sebastian pulled his fingers out of Blaine and pushed his cock in, bottoming out in one quick thrust and Blaine screamed from the sudden fullness.

“So good. So big, Master,” Blaine groaned, hands curling into his fists as he fought the urge to touch Sebastian or take his blindfold off so he could stare at him.

Sebastian set a steady pace, fucking Blaine fast and hard but never angling his hips the way that Blaine needed him to. Blaine was left on the cusp of pleasure, needing to let go but he needed that extra push from Sebastian, which Sebastian wasn’t giving him.

Just as Blaine was about to speak, Sebastian finally angled his hips and Blaine felt blinding hot pleasure rush through him as he arched up off the bed, Sebastian’s hands grasping his hips to hold them down as he moved faster.

“Fuck, you should see yourself, pet. So tight and gorgeous, taking my cock like such a good boy.”

Blaine gasped at Sebastian’s words, clutching at his shoulders, nails digging into Sebastian’s skin hard enough to draw blood.

“Come for me, pet,” Sebastian ordered and Blaine couldn’t deny him, coming just from the feeling of Sebastian filling him up, painting his and Sebastian’s stomach white.

Just as he was started to come down from his high, Blaine felt warmth filling him as Sebastian groaned and Blaine knew he was coming, filling Blaine and marking him as Sebastian’s.

“Master…” Blaine breathed, tired and overwhelmed from his orgasm.

“Such a good boy,” Sebastian praised softly, kissing Blaine gently.

Without needing permission, Blaine slipped and fell into subspace, losing himself to the knowledge that he was safe and taken care of. His heart swelled with love for Sebastian and his eyes slipped closed underneath the blindfold. Blaine didn’t care about anything else as he let himself float, high above everything else that would try to hold him down.

It was at least twenty minutes later before Blaine came back to himself, smiling as he felt arms around him. He hands were crossed against Sebastian’s chest, his legs tangled with his Master’s, and the blindfold had been removed.

Blaine didn’t open his eyes; there was no reason to. Instead he curled further against Sebastian, placing a soft kiss against his Dom’s chest.

“I love you, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered, voice filled with happiness as his fingers danced over Blaine’s collar.

Blaine hummed softly, sighing as he leaned into Sebastian’s touch. “I love you too.”

Sebastian smiled against Blaine’s forehead, placing a soft kiss to the skin there as he pulled the comforter up over their bodies and they both slipped into a deep sleep within a few minutes, content to lie there curled around each other for as long as they could.

* * *

_Trust is the cornerstone of what enables power exchange to happen._

_…the safety of the sub is totally in the hands of the Dom._

_They [submissives] relax into the scene, fully trusting in their Master._

_…the trust between a Dominant and a submissive is essential to helping the sub fall into subspace._

**Author's Note:**

> Blaine's Cuff: http://www.supplierlist.com/prod_img/shenhu6361/234392_2011_pu_leather_wristband.jpg
> 
> Blaine's Collar: http://img0.etsystatic.com/007/0/7044042/il_170x135.371566220_ovpp.jpg


End file.
